Football is crazy man. No one is good, except the Saints… maybe the Rams and Chiefs are good, (who played perhaps the greatest football game ever on Monday night) but their defenses are certainly below average. This week, if anything, proved that anyone can beat anyone on any given Sunday. The Chargers lost at "home", Alex Smith's season (and maybe career?) is over which opens up the NFC East again for any team (especially if you're the Eagles or Cowboys who, two weeks ago, were dead in the water). The only teams that may actually be bad or dead are: the Raiders, 49ers, The Giants, the Bucs, anyone in the AFC East not named the Pats, and the Packers! (Also did anyone miss the AFC East this week? Yeah, me neither)
In fact, separating dead teams from alive teams is exactly how this weeks Power Rankings are going to be laid out. I want to finally create some tiers among teams in the NFL because I think it's important to start focusing on who actually has a chance, who's out, and who's stuck in the middle. I will break the league up into four tiers based on the Manning family. This tier list is completely subjective, though. In my list, the bottom tier is Eli Manning. Yes, he won two super Bowls, but he has the ultimate derp face, has played about 5 bad years of football in a row now, and will always be compared to his older brother. It's tough being Eli. Thus, he is the bottom tier. Next is the Cooper Manning tier. Yes, you aren't famous. But you're still a Manning brother, you're a successful businessman, a millionaire, and you aren't constantly compared to Peyton. This makes you tier 2. The 3rd tier is Archie Manning. You're the Don of the Manning mafia and you had a pretty good NFL career. However, like the others, you're most famous for being part of Peyton's family. And of course, the top tier: The Peyton Manning tier. This one is obvious. He is one of the best QBs of all time so he is the top tier. However, within his tier are other tiers in order to differentiate between simply playoff teams and real contenders. A playoff team is a Broncos' Manning team and real contenders are Colts' Manning teams.
Let's start with the bottom tier, the Eli Manning tier.
32. Raiders. This tier and the Peyton tier are the two largest tiers. The Raiders are here for obvious reasons. Derek Carr's days are numbered in Oakland. I wasn't sure before this weekend. But after this weekend, I now feel like they are.
31. Jets. They didn't play this week, but like I said before. Did anyone miss them?
30. 49ers. They were off too.
29. Cardinals. You lost to the Raiders, but I am committed to making the Raider 32 every week until they prove me otherwise. Thus, the Cardinals don't drop.
28. Bills. The Bills have scored 14 touchdowns this season. The Rams and Chiefs scored a combined 14 on Monday night. That's a brutal stat if you're a Bills fan.
27. Bucs. If anyone can find the Bucs a QB who won't turn the ball over it would be much appreciated. Neither Winston nor Fitzpatrick can do it. All the Fitzmagic is gone :(
26. Dolphins. They were off too.
25. Giants. This is it. This is the win streak that the Giants go on and ruin their draft pick. They have won two in a row and the worst part about this win streak (this will continue for at least three more weeks) is that this will allow Eli to play one more year since Giants' management will rationalize this win streak as a reason to keep him.
24. Jaguars. They were so close to beating the Steelers!! They made their offense looks bad for 3 quarters and their offense was doing just enough to stay in the game. I think this could be a turning point for the team because Fournette was back this week and we all know he opens up their offense and takes a ton of pressure off of Blake Bortles. This was a still a tough loss and I need to drop them as a result.
23. Lions. The Lions are one of the teams I still do not understand. I know they are bad, but how bad? Let's find out on Thanksgiving!
22. Falcons. I am going to say it. I am going to declare it. The Falcons are done. They are officially behind the Browns in the rankings and are amongst the worst of the teams. It's just a shame. They have so many good weapons on offense, they just can't get stops when they need it in order to win games.
21. Browns. They were off this week too. You're still in the Eli tier though.
20. Broncos. Yes you won this week, but you're playing in the same division as the Chiefs still (so you won't win the division). Yes they also beat the Chargers this week, but I think that was more of a credit to the Chargers for losing that game rather than the Broncos winning.
The Cooper Tier
19. Eagles. Did they play on Sunday? I didn't notice... (They lost 48-7 to the Saints).
18. Titans. Are the Colts good or are the Titans bad? Maybe both? Yes, both.
17. Cowboys. People forget that Leighton Vander Esch played 8 man football in Riggins, Idaho. In case you didn't know that, you do now!
16. Bengals. Tough loss, but I'd feel worse losing to Flacco than Lamar Jackson.
15. Packers. I still respect Aaron Rodgers...but as for the rest of the team, they are done and have helped waste another incredible Aaron Rodgers' MVP season.
14. Seahawks. They're hanging around and are still alive because I think they have played the toughest part of the schedule and can get a good enough record going forward to fight for a Wild Card spot.
The Archie Tier - smallest of the tiers
13. Redskins. I feel really bad for Alex Smith. That was a brutal injury, but at least Colt McCoy enters the scene! *pew *pew (gun sounds like a Cowboy)
12. Ravens. The Ravens aren't any better than they were last week, but they are more fun to watch! Lamar Jackson makes their offense actually enjoyable to watch, so if they ride with him for the rest of the season, I'll root for them to make the playoffs so I can watch more Lamar!
11. Vikings. They are still a good team, but on Sunday night the Vikings realized the problem with Kirk Cousins. He'll get you to the big game, but he can never win it for you.
10. Colts. Andrew Luck has been sacked less this season than he has at any time in his career. The transformation of the Colts' offensive line and their commitment to protecting Andrew Luck to the best of their ability has helped make them a legit contender for the AFC South this season.
The Peyton Tier
9. Chargers. Guess how the Chargers lost? They missed an extra point and allowed the Broncos to make a game winning field goal? Oh that actually happened? I didn't just make that up? Yes the Chargers are back!
8. Panthers. This was a bad loss to the Lions. I completely disagreed with their decision to go for 2 at the end of the game. It was a move that didn't make sense to me at the time and it felt like the Panthers had no justifiable reason to go for 2.
7. Patriots. They were off this week.
6. Bears. Good win at home. Although Trubisky injured his shoulder this week. Hopefully it isn't too serious and he can play on Thursday. Also how crazy is it that the Bears had to play Sunday night and then have to play again on Thursday? That's like no time off.
5. Steelers. They escaped with a good, tough win on Sunday. After looking good for 5 weeks, the Steelers were bound for a letdown. Combined with the fact that the Jaguars have the Steelers' number, the fact that they came back from a 16-6 deficit, and they had to overcome Jalen Ramsey's trash talk is commendable.
4. Texans. 7 in a row! 7 wins in a crazy manner! The Texans apparently have destiny on their side this season as they win games in the craziest or unpredictable of ways.
3. Chiefs. Their QB is still unreal and their defense is still bad. But if they could just go ahead and play that MNF game every week from here on out, I'd be okay with that.
2. Rams. See Chiefs above.
1. Saints. It's only fitting that the Saints are the team at the top of the Peyton tier since they beat him in the Superbowl. Also they are relentlessly beating down teams in historic fashion.
Comments